The makers of House Of The Dragon really stepped it up when they didn’t call this show Game Of Dads. Because so far, this is it: everyone’s dads (and some potential dads-to-be) are making jealous choices that their sons and daughters—but mostly daughters—are forced to live with. (As the poet Philip Larkin once wrote, “They’re fucking you, your mommy and your daddy.”) But first: crabs! (The ocean kind, not the sex kind.) Greg Yaitanes’ camera pans across a beach littered with wet bodies. A plague of crabs swarms the living and the dead, clawing at the flesh, feasting like piranhas. I’m sure real-life crustaceans can’t do that, but, you know, Westeros. They are the remnants of an invasion by a Myrian pirate referred to simply as “the Crabfeeder”. This is part of the slow conquest of the Stepstones, a chain of islands off the coast of Dorne, that Lord Corlys warned the Small Council about last week, though it fell on deaf ears. The Master of Ships tells the council the terrible news, but King Viserys and his other lords are more concerned with matters closer to home: the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard has died and they must find a new recruit. It’s been half a year since Viserys named his daughter Rhaenyra his heir, but he’s still only a bearer at Small Council meetings. I’m sure a male heir to the Iron Throne wouldn’t be forced to serve as a glorified waiter, but then again, Westeros will make Westeros. Viserys has no interest in going to war, but his daughter sees the threat her father cannot: The princess suggests sending dragon riders—led by her, of course—to repel the raiders. The king is basically like, “Oh, honey. Maybe you can go help Otto go pick a new member of the Kingsguard, K?’ Meanwhile, the boisterous Demon Prince has been allowed to run amok since losing his inheritance, taking the position of Targaryen of Dragonstone for himself in the company of the Goldcloaks of the City Watch, whom he brought with him. As his brother would later say, Viserys is kind of the bad guy at this whole king thing! Rhaenyra goes to select a new member of the Kingsguard, passing the sons of the houses that Otto Hightower whispers are needed to form alliances for Ser Criston Cole. He’s the only one with battle experience, and he’s a stone baby. Dear old dad is serious about important matters of state, by which I mean playing with his Legos. He shows Alicent Hightower his model of the capital of Old Valyria, telling her all about the history of the ruined island from which the Targaryens hail. Along the way, he slips and accidentally breaks his favorite dragon action figure. Later, she returns it to him as a gift, newly repaired, a gesture that may have finally cemented the king’s decision at the end of the episode. There is a palpable tension between Viserys and Alicent, who has probably been sleeping with the king in the six months since the queen’s death and who, I cannot stress enough, is 15 years old. It’s one thing for the show to acknowledge that this sort of thing was common in the medieval era Martin’s series is based on. It’s quite another to focus on the flirtation between a teenager and a man in his 50s. Game Of Thrones has walked a fine line between showing and reporting the most dangerous parts of the Westerosi world, with mixed results. But the writers of House Of The Dragon are doing something extremely vulgar: they’re trying to have their cake and eat it too by portraying this relationship that is, frankly, coddled in a way that makes it seem almost endearing. Alicent is no fool: She plays her cards with both the king and her BFF Rhaenyra with Margaery Tyrell’s cunning. At Viserys’ urging, he convinces the princess to speak with her father, as the two have been estranged since Aemma’s death. Continuing her role as Rhaenyra’s confidant will only make Rhaenyra feel even more betrayed later. But all that is coming. First, Lord Corlys and his wife, the could-be-Queen Rhaenys, have a proposition for the king: He marries their daughter Laena Velaryon and unites the two most powerful houses of Old Valyria. On the one hand, it would be a smart political match. Laena, on the other hand, is literally a child, and she’s also Viserys’ niece—not that that’s ever bothered a Targaryen before. He walks her through the gardens while she asks about dragons, who is how a modern child can love my little ponies. It’s a skin-crawling screen, the old man and the little kid are thinking of getting married. but thankfully Viserys thinks so too. It’s not Rhaenys’ only machination this episode. He finds Rhaenyra’s niece and drops some harsh truths: Her father will remarry, finally have a male heir, and renege on his promise to name her his heir. “This is the order of things,” Rhaenys hisses. This proto-Cersei is not wrong, and it spurs Rhaenyra into action. Cup over for her. Paddy Considine, Eve Best and Steve Toussaint in House Of The Dragon Photo: Ollie Upton/HBO Then comes the central event of the episode, which of course involves Daemon. He stole a precious dragon egg from under Viserys’s nose to cradle his child – one he claims to have with Mysaria, the lowered race he announces he intends to take as his second wife. Adding insult to injury, this was the egg meant for Baelon, Viserys’ would-be heir. This act of defiance finally spurs the king into action. He plans to go to Dragonstone to get the egg back, reclaim the castle, and disperse Daemon’s men. Otto walks up and says he’ll go instead, because he fears for the king’s life if he gets too close to his belligerent little brother. Rhaenyra says she will go too, but Viserys shoots her. All of this culminates in the most compelling setting of a very telling episode: a misty confrontation between Otto and Daemon, their respective retinue behind them, on the bridge leading to Dragonstone. The scene is beautifully lit and tense as hell as Daemon casually tosses the egg in his hand as if it were nothing more than a football. Mysaria’s pregnancy was a bluff, of course—a Daemon didn’t even bother to tell her. After he leaves, swords are drawn and the prince brings out his trump card: his giant red dragon, dripping over the ramparts. But then Rhaenyra bursts through the mist riding her own dragon, looping around the bridge before landing and approaching her uncle with all the proud gravity of Daenerys. The two speak Valyrian, a testament to the pride they each have in their roots – their most common point. “I am here, uncle,” says he, “the object of your wrath.” He calls his bluff: Kill her now and claim the throne he so desperately wants. But it’s obvious in Daemon’s eyes that Rhaenyra might be the only person in the world he loves and admires. So he gives her the dragon’s egg and wordlessly returns to his guardian. Matt Smith and Millie Alcock both do great work here, matching each other’s egos, having entire conversations with just their eyes. House Of The Dragon desperately needs more scenes like this, because right now it’s 85 percent court machinations and it’s getting boring. Viserys finally has a heart to heart with his daughter, admitting that he loved and misses her mother desperately. Her dad doing the most basic fathering possible endears Rhaenyra. He adds that he must name a woman, but no matter what, she will always be his heir. Thinking he means Laina, he gives her his blessing. So everything will be cool, right? After a private consultation with Law Master Lionel Strong (Gavin Spocks), whom Viserys sees as a neutral party in his choice of wife, the king calls a meeting of the Small Council—circa the 90th of this episode—to announce his choice. As viewers could easily guess, it is Alicent and not Laena. Corliss is furious, Otto is quietly pleased, and Renira storms out crying. I guess it’s better to marry a teenager instead of a full child? But either way, ugh. It turns out to be, unsurprisingly, a disastrous political move for Viserys – because back at his castle in Driftmark, Lord Corlys holds his own private meeting and reminds us why he’s nicknamed the Sea Snake. It’s Daemon, of course, the only noble we’ve seen who’s even more into the war than Corlys. As the two sit in high armchairs in the firelight, the sea serpent suggests a plan: the Daemon should ally with him to bring down the raiders from the Free Cities, the king’s license be damned. He says they are both strong men and second sons who have been violated too many times. “Our worth is not given,” the commander of half the battleships in Westeros tells his partner. “It must be done”. The episode ends on a terrifying shot of one of the pirates in question, who has a terrifyingly mangled face worthy of a serial killer. Cool, cool, cool!
Stray observations
Could the creepy-faced pirates be related to the Faceless Men, the guild of vision-stealing assassins from Game Of Thrones based in the Free City of Braavos? The Corlys’ chambers are decorated with strange animal skulls and an eerie bust of a face half covered in coral and dead sea creatures. Honestly, it’s my favorite House Of The Dragon decor design to date. Speaking of Corlys, he, his daughter Laena, and Mysaria are the only non-white actors in the entire series so far. Elf-Pale Targaryens aside, this show has had every opportunity to make its cast more diverse, especially when you consider how much (justifiably!) flack Game Of Thrones got for its homogenous core cast. The wounds Viserys has suffered from the sharp edges of the Iron Throne continue to not…
